Facebook is escapism most foul

Posted under A Geek Dad's Life, Blog Posts

I’ve been thinking about why I spend (read “waste”) so much time on Facebook. I gave up Twitter because it is undeniably vapid and empty, without context or depth. Facebook, on the otherhand, continues to lure me back with its “Notifications” icon. I find myself posting comments in hopes that someone will comment on my comment, hoping to see that little red exclamation point next to the Notifications button. This is a sad state of affairs.  These are pointless excercises that drain time away from actual accomplishment.

There is true value in social networks; connecting with people and resources can be mutually beneficial.  Once the connections are made, we keep them in our pockets, maintain them, and then pull them out when we need to utilize them.  The best of us will actually connect our friends together when we see them in need of each others talents. 

The trap that I have fallen into is this: I am addicted to the reward systems built into the maintenance processes.  Facebook is predicated on these rewards, and actively promotes these trivial activities; sending Motivational Posters, Kindap Requests, and Easter Eggs Hunts.  These activities are not evil, but they are the most foul form of escapism; the kind that gives the illusion of accomplishment when, in fact, nothing has been gained. 

I had convinced myself that these these little friendship maintenance rituals on Facebook were contributing to my well being by strengthening my global network of friends.  It is an intoxicating concept; to be able to instantly connect with hundreds of people, many of whom you have actually met and/or gone to school with.  That is where the concept should end, but for me and millions of other Facebook users, that is just the beginning of the massive “time suck.”

I argued that Facebook’ing is no more wasteful an endeavor than model rocketry, or robot building, or scrap booking.  It is certainly less expensive.  I lost that argument with myself when I thought about the resulting products that are born from those activities, and the amount of time I spend messing around with the finished product.  What is the finished product of my “Facebook” endeavors?  I think that the finished product of my Facebook account is a well-groomed list of friends with whom I would have dinner some day. 

OK.  I have built that list.  I am done.  Why am I still dicking around with it?  I am done.  Why do I keep going back to that website?

I saw a post today from an ‘actual’ friend on Facebook that hinted that things were not going well for him. I sent him an e-mail telling him that I was thinking about him, but then I realized that I really only think about him every time I see one of his updates in Facebook. I then immediately stop thinking about him until the next time I see an update from him. It is a bit Pavlovian. I supposed that I would get hungry if a cheeseburger sent me a Motivational Poster. But I digress.  

I have mistaken Facebook for a tool to “stay” connected.  It is merely a first step to connecting with people and building a network of friends.  The NEXT step is getting off that damn computer and hand-writing a note every once in a while.  Or better yet, figure out why you’re not spending more time with the people around you.  Snap out of it, already.  Facebook’ing will not help you achieve your dreams. 

Advise your friends that they should e-mail or call you.  Delete the web shortcuts to your Facebook page.  Delete that damn Facebook app off of your iPhone or Blackberry.  Check your Facebook page on the first day of every month.  You will get over it, and will accomplish something greater.