To Verizon: Blister Packs = "Screw You"

Posted under A Geek Dad's Life, Blog Posts

Dear Verizon,

Nothing says “Eat sh*t, customer” more than the way you entomb your $29.99 car chargers in blast-proof blister packs. 

I just purchased one of your car chargers for my Verizon phone.  I am still trying to open to package.

Sure, I could have gone out to my tool shed and retrieved my tin snips, but it was raining.  I have ordered a new “blister pack extraction tool” but it has not arrived yet.  Alas, I was forced to use my kid’s safety scissors and have the package 18% open.  I finished Portal in less time than this.  My only remaining option is my daughter’s Fisher-Price handsaw, and we both know how that story will end.

Honestly Verizon, I have used a box knife against your unwilling bits of merchandise before, but I am deeply troubled by the danger that you (Verizon) are willing to impose upon my physical well-being.

So, thanks for encasing the $5.38 worth of plastic and wires that you sold to me for a $24.57 profit inside $.04 worth of bullet-resistant acrylic.  Screw you.

I’d go on, but Dave Weinberger has taken the time to say it much better than me.  Dave’s grief was with Logitech, but I think that all of you bastards are in it together.

Sincerely,
Scott Fletcher