ESP System = Dumb Shock Collar for Waitresses

Posted under A Geek Dad's Life, Blog Posts, Clinical Food Services

(Alternate title: “Paging your waiter for a glass of water makes you feel like an a**hole.”)If you were wondering, it is possible to insult restaurant patrons AND make the waitresses feel stupid by placing a single piece of technology on the table.

The story: Some colleagues and I went to FatCatz Cafe, a restaurant chain here in the the Carolinas.  We were seated at a table and the hostess slid a coaster-sized disk next to a device on the table that looked like a lopsided coffee cup warmer (see picture). A few minutes later, we were greeted by a pleasant 19 year-old gal that spoke too fast.  She slid the coaster-sized disc into the mysterious device and explained that we could ‘call’ her anytime by pressing the button.   Then she demonstrated it by pressing the button on the device, and then showing us her wristwatch-device that lit up and displayed the number “12″ for our table.After she left, I looked at the device (from Esp Systems, LLC) and asked my colleagues if they thought is was odd.  They did.  The summary: This device allows the waitress to pay less attention to us.  Here’s how it works (from the company’s web site):

The waiter wears a Dick Tracy-style wrist device. He hands you a small disc, which you slip into a cell-phone-size hub on the table. When you click on the hub, his watch vibrates and summons him to your table. The kitchen buzzes him to pick up your food; he alerts the busboy when you leave.

So, the waitress no longer has to monitor our progress through dinner!  Anytime we want, we can activate the buzzer, and have our waitress come over and ask what we want.  That didn’t prevent our well-meaning 19 year-old from stopping by uninvited in the middle of our conversation and ask if we needed anything.  Actually, she didn’t stop; she just kind of slowed a bit as she whizzed by.  I could almost hear the Doppler-effect as her too-fast words trailed off.

When you hear other people talk about it, it sounds like a great idea!

My real problem is that we saw “the man behind the curtain.”  We were forced to participate in a system to which we don’t want to contribute.  We don’t want to know how they flip tables, signal that orders are ready, or that tables need to be cleaned.  I expect my waitress, my customer service rep, my personal valet to handle the messy details.  I want my waitress to pay attention and attend to my needs so that I can pay attention to my friends, colleagues, and conversation.

It has been said that “attention” is the currency of the 21st Century (see this link for more).  We spend our attention on things, and we want [and often pay] to have people pay attention to us.  I want my waitress to pay attention to me.  A very good friend of mine who [was a darned good waitress for many years] once told me that “customers are like house plants; talk to them like real people and keep them watered, and they’ll be happy.”

It’s not our FatCatz waitress’s fault; This ESP/Rote/Formula system is what she has been trained to use.  The fault lays with the management of the Easley FatCatz Cafe for assuming that a gee-whiz technology would replace the mentoring and training of a good waitress!  When my colleague across the table from me asked if they had a Riesling,’ our 19 year-old waitress paused… and cocked her head politely… paused some more… and my colleague finally said [in her magical non-condescending tone] “that’s a kind of wine.”  Mentoring is key, but it shouldn’t be the patrons’ responsibility to mentor the the waitresses.

Personally, I would have cut our waitress a lot more slack if I thought that she’d been thrown into the fire to fend for herself.  I would have granted her every pardon for whatever mistakes she made if I though that she was struggling to learn.  Instead, I was left with a feeling that she was going through some prescribed, operations-manual-driven chain of actions based around that damned ESP box sitting on our table.  I thought “with all of that technology, everything should be perfect.”  That box raised my expectations beyond what the waitress could deliver.  Even so, it cost over $25 for my mediocre dining experience.  I had a better experience the night before for less than $15. 

One of two things must be true:  Either I would have paid a little more to feel a little more “special,” or I would have been happy if I had paid less.

I have come to the conclusion that “Service” has only two positive take-away experiences:  the bargain-basement you-get-what-you-pay-for service experience, and the upscale make-you-feel-truly-special service experience.  When you receive a service from a company, you want to be surprised at how ‘easy’ it was; either from a money or a convenience standpoint.   You’ll make up your own mind as a consumer about when you want to save money and when you want to feel special, and you will pay accordingly.  It is Wal-mart vs. Men’s Warehouse.  It’s McDonalds vs. Seven on Prospect.

So, which side is your company targeting?